What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How do I get fit at home?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is Roblox so laggy it’s unplayable? My computer is fine and the internet is great.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

How do Greeks identify themselves in terms of civilization? Do they feel more connected to Western or Middle Eastern civilization and why?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What is the most memorable thing that happened in your college days?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What advice would you give to a father of a teenage daughter on how to protect her from boys, dating, and social media? How should fathers discuss these topics with their daughters?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Have you ever been forced to undress for money just once?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How is digital marketing important for business?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

How is TikTok able to censor porn?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What caused the stock market to crash?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!